sally umbrella

‘Miss Sally Umbrella’
Artist Unknown – sourced from Pinterest 

The day they chopped down the last tree on earth was the day the humans stopped breathing. No oxygen, no humans.

A few of us got lucky. We’d already had our brains transferred to robots. Not just any old robots. Proper human looking robots with eyes that see, ears that hear, mouths that spoke and hands that created things. We didn’t need to eat nor drink. That was useful as there were no farms and no rain. The extra plus was that we robots didn’t need oxygen. That was handy on a planet without any.

My brain settled into its new home without any major problems. A couple of headaches and I’ll admit I missed being not able to watch The Arsenal or have poached eggs. The name the other robots gave me was ‘Zoolon the Musical Android’.  I could still play my electric guitars. Solar power sorted that out.

Being a robot meant I was immortal if I stayed safe and never got myself killed. It also meant that none of us need ever breed. No point in it. We could build new robots but the new ones had no human brains as we’d run out of those. These robots didn’t have feelings and had no creativity but were useful just focused on doing stuff. They mainly built space ships and did the clearing up of desert dust. Music was an alien thing to them.

Everything was going really well for a while. We’d set up camps on Earth, The Moon and on Mars.  Then came a time of conflict. The robots with human brains decided that there wasn’t any reason to keep the robots without human brains. Like they were lesser  beings. Racism had returned to Earth. My hateful lot started to dismantle the robots without human brains forgetting that they had been programmed to defend themselves. They were pretty good at killing their human brain enemies. After a massive battle all that was left was just me and a pile of robot parts of both types. I never took part in the war as I don’t do racism.

However, I’d forgotten about Sally Umbrella, a robot without a human brain. She’d been on Mars at the time of the battle. She was called Sally Umbrella because she always had an umbrella with her. No one knew why because it never rained on Earth any more.

When she got back to Earth I had to tell her what had happened. She wasn’t meant to have emotions but on hearing what I had to say a single tear dripped from her eye. When the tear drop landed, all of a sudden a tiny twig with a single green leaf popped up out of the ground. Seeing I was confused she told me that it was a new born tree. An oak. After that she cried some more and a whole mass of new born trees appeared. She said they’d been ‘hidden beneath’ forever waiting to grow. Two magical things had happened. Sally Umbrella had evolved a brain as good as any human brain plus she had caused the trees to return.

Not long after, some dark clouds turned up. I hadn’t seen any clouds for hundreds of years. Then the rain. Buckets of rain. That’s when Sally Umbrella opened her umbrella to keep us both dry. Maybe she knew something from before? Maybe that was why she carried an umbrella? I never asked.

However, she did ask me if I thought regular humans would evolve again like before. All I could say was, “I hope not.”

Since then 200 million+ years have passed. The forests are back. No sign of humans, although quite a lot of bees. I did see a pretty friendly orangutan in one of the trees yesterday. Sally Umbrella was shaking her head looking ever so worried. I like Sally Umbrella. I think I might write her a song.

Talking of ‘Hidden Beneath’ here’s the piece of music of the same name from my ‘The Forgotten Daughter of Zeus’ album. It’s available to download on  BANDCAMP or to stream on SPOTIFY    I hope you enjoy;

Also try this on for size if you fancy the idea. The ‘Bullish Grove’. Enjoy;

Apart from the Sally pic – Copyright © 2019 Zoolon Audio.  Music & Artwork. All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.




Zoolon’s Simple Take on Trees

I wouldn’t like to be a tree in the Amazon right now. Having said that I probably wouldn’t particularly want to be a tree in the first place. I’d never get to see The Arsenal play again or get to eat macaroni cheese. Then there’s dogs with an urgent need to think about, plus if I become a tree I guess all my guitars would get sold on eBay.

More seriously, even though science has proven trees interact with one another and given that they reduce erosion, moderate the climate, remove carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and store a mass of carbon in their tissues, plus trees and forests provide a habitat for many species of animals, insects and plants who would otherwise die out, we chop the lot down for a ton of pathetic reasons. Mainly it’s all about humans making big money whatever the damage to the planet they leave behind. Short term thinking? Too right it is.

Relevant to my mini rant, here’s my protest song ‘Sunlight & The Dust’ along with a few more ‘new photos of old photos’ almost forgotten.

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The spaceman from a green blue planet stopped by to pay us a visit and say “hello”
Earthman offered him a ready meal wrapped in plastic and a home delivery pizza just for show

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Spaceman said, “Man you’ve some great trees here, it’s a shame you’ve not got that many anymore”
Earthman just shrugged and said “That’s how we like it, besides we don’t eat apples like before”

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“You’re kidding me, the trees keep you lot well and alive, their fruit is the best thing you can get
This rubbish you just served up isn’t for me mate – it’s less a meal; more a bloody threat”

As I mentioned before all my albums can be streamed on SPOTIFY  they are also available to download from BANDCAMP

Below, my albums;

Copyright © 2017-2019 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.


herodotusZoolon’s new bin ‘Herodotus the Bin’

Some music. A 60 second guitar improvisation rendition of “Time” by Hans Zimmer. I hope you enjoy;

Other things in my life;

rainbow carpetA few posts back I put up a pic of a what I thought was a lost rainbow on the carpet here at home. Today I find three baby rainbows on the same carpet in the same room. Are they breeding? Am I missing something? Big question.

Next, something else I want answers and solutions for.

tree netting

The Wildlife Aid charity says this netting in Guildford was put in place to stop birds nesting so that the trees can eventually be removed – pic and quote from BBC News 

I was watching the news on TV. As I understand it this ‘tree netting’ idea is going on big time all over the country this year. It’s Spring. Birds need nests. A no-brainer. From now to late summer nests are vital. Get rid of the tree nets. If contractors want to kill trees to build houses then at least wait until the birds move on – besides there are thousands of empty shops in High Streets all over the place that could be converted to homes cheaper, quicker and easier than building new homes. 


Have you heard the word out on the street?

That there’s always a victory in a defeat

Cold comfort on an angry grey cloud day

A sap stained pavement’s tree blood cabaret


Who killed the goose that laid the golden eggs?

Who drunk from The River of Life and left the dregs?

The writings on the wall I hear you say

You must be joking, woodlands never live to fight another day


Can you show me how what you stand for is not a crime?

In words that I can sing that mostly rhyme

I’ll write you a ballad you’ll never get to hear

I’ll click my fingers and make the whole world disappear


Next, ‘A Life’ from my ‘Dream Rescuer’ album. I’ve decided that this number will always be in praise of trees;

Copyright © 2017/19 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.