france door4 2019

‘Doorway to The Room of Clouds’

‘One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
I discovered that my castle stands
Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand’

I thought I’d try something random again, just writing the first thing/things that came into my head. I’ve not done it for awhile. Here we go – fingers crossed. A letter; 

Dear Marie Antoinette aka Miss Misfit,

I painted a portrait of you. In water colours. I got them for next to nothing in a charity shop. I couldn’t afford canvas and oils. It was rubbish. I can’t paint.

It’s cold and rainy today, just like yesterday. Storms from the North Atlantic. I got soaked chasing the rainbows end. I only chased it for the pot of gold. It wasn’t there.

I never did get a replacement dog. Soon maybe. Maybe not. I wonder what happened to your toy spaniel? I never did catch its name.

Will you remember to remember me? Sometimes? Ever? Never?

I’m making a new song. Just for you. It should be finished come December. A ballad. Not quite a ballad. Acoustic, obviously. Minor chords wouldn’t have it any other way. A festive time present you’re too far away to hear. Sound travels only so far. Then it dies. The song hasn’t got a name yet.

I’ll turn this letter into a neat paper dart. I’ll aim it your way. I’m sick of posting things.

This’ll make you laugh. Some types of parking meters fascinate me. The ones that look as though they have a face with eyes, nose and mouth, but no ears. I’ve photographed some. In France, in summer, I took pics of unusual doors. One of them was a door to nowhere. If you’re looking for a metaphor there isn’t one. Not this time.

It’s a shame you talked about cakes when no one knew what cakes were. You caused a revolution. Impressive.

Best Wishes,

Zoolon aka I Hunt-Alone (mostly)

france door 2019

‘Doorway to an Apple Tree – just the one’

Here’s another track from the new album. It’s called ‘Laid Back Groove – G Minor’. Even though it’s a backing track aimed mainly at other musicians it – and the rest of the numbers – stands alone and is part of that 3 hour/20 track new album, ‘Guitar Jam, Volume 1 – Zoolon Audio Backing Tracks’. I hope you enjoy;

If you’re interested the new album can be downloaded at BANDCAMP   It costs just £6.50 or currency equivalent wherever you live.

Coldplay aside, Copyright © 2019 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.


Do you ever get fed up with guru type people saying, “When you push yourself to the limits and believe in yourself anything is possible”? Perhaps I’m too polite when they get on my case. What I generally do is think of what I could/should have answered. Something like, “If anything is possible how come I can’t play the piano while wearing boxing gloves?”

I think I’d rather try to live the dream, than stay focused and chase a goal.


Pumping out the clever stuff
Doesn’t always do it for me
When I have to I can write the flashy lyrics
And spit them out for free

Say, ‘I am the solitary gardener
I spend my time sowing the seeds of songs
In the days before the first frost comes

I sense where the melody belongs

Harvesting this seasons words
Dressing up notes in best-fit chords
Picking out the warm tunes
For wintertime’s new records’

Yet when I get asked, ‘Why not be a suit?
Get a regular job like any other bro
That’s the best way to make your millions’
I answer, ‘I don’t know’

But in reality I do know
I just don’t understand big egos, flash cars and why some boast
Whether I get it right, or get it wrong
There’s no way they’ll be a requiem for my ghost

france4 (2)‘What Summer Left Behind’

If anyone can click a ‘Subscribe’ on my YouTube Channel you’ll find on ‘Requiem for a Ghost’ it would be appreciate – if not, no worries.

Copyright © 2017 music; 2019 art & words Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.





‘Money is the reason we exist
Everybody knows it, it’s a fact – kiss, kiss’
Lana Del Rey from her song, ‘National Anthem’ 

The Amazons on fire again
The ice caps melt away
Sea levels gone and lost the plot
Plastic bottles don’t decay
Exhaust fumes and factory waste
Industry is all
The planet keeps on spinning
But it’s heading for a fall
Species upon species
Mankind has killed the lot
Go kill another elephant
Go take another shot
We breed too many humans
While the food chain’s breaking up
Come tomorrow, come the big bang
Our lungs will scream for oxygen in a cup

It wouldn’t be right to quote Lana without posting a vid of her song ‘National Anthem’. To me it’s a masterpiece stuffed full of satire.

No way can I best Lana, so today just me and an angry guitar. The number is called ‘One Man Band’;


Lana aside, Copyright © 2018 -19 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.


007 & ME


James Gull, ‘Licence to Poo’ – all over my car on a daily basis

I first went to St Margaret’s Bay, just along the coast from Dover, a few years ago when I was capturing the sounds of the sea for a sound art project. I go over there every so often because it’s not a place that has tons of tourists and I can think there. I made my first visit this year early on Bank Holiday Monday, before the heat got silly hot in the hope it might help cure the dreaded block – writer’s block, I have to stress. It is posh and pretty after all. What I’d never realized is that it is the closest part of England to France. On the pic below you’ll see a White Cliff. The tip of that cliff is the exact closest place to France, just 21 miles from Calais. It’s that close when roaming your phone gets connected to French networks.

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After learning that possibly boring but true piece of information I then researched some more. Don’t ask me why. It just happened. Anyway, during WW2 the Brits built a massive fake wooden gun there. Even though it was a useless lump of sh…, sorry, timber, the idea was that the sight of it might put the Germans off flying over the area. The thing was the Germans worked out it was just a lump of wood and, for a joke, dropped a wooden bomb on it. Neat.

St Margaret’s Bay also has had some of the famous posh living there. For example, the next pic. My online guide advises me, ‘The two cottages at the end of the beach were owned by Noel Coward and Ian Fleming, who both enjoyed the sea views and walks in this tranquil area.’ The pic below is of where, Fleming – the James Bond author – lived.

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Also, although I haven’t got an actual pic, the guide says, ‘The picturesque location drew several well-known people to build holiday homes at St Margaret’s, including actor Peter Ustinov. His clifftop residence is now owned by actress Miriam Margolyes.’ I’ve heard of Ustinov but I’m not sure who Miriam Margolyes is so I’ll take their word for that one. I’m guessing the clifftop property must be one of those in this next pic.

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Enough was enough. It was at this point that the online guide was causing me to glaze over and lose the will to live, so I gave up fact finding and took a shot of a piece of the chalk that The White Cliffs are made of. You’ll note it’s not so white close-up.

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Given that this post is about cliffs and cliffs have edges I thought that my instrumental – with an electronic choir – called ‘On the Edge’ might just work. I hope you enjoy;

Copyright © 2017 – 2019 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.


G1‘Unfeasibly Giant Hands’

I’ve been working on a couple of big – at least to me they’re big – music projects these last couple of months and now, near the end, I find I’m putting so much into it trying to get it finally finished that I can’t write the words I want anymore. I’ve hit a dull patch of blog creativity. The pressure to complete the project got worse with the rising heat these last few days. 30 degrees+. I work from an attic studio and it gets amazingly hot when it’s hot – even blasting cold air via the fan does nothing to cool it down. It got so hot I thought I’d take a walk to the harbour. At least there’s usually a sea breeze there. How wrong I was. The harbour was in still air and was just as hot as the attic, but at least I took a few pics.

Anyhow, the first pic is of the famous White Cliffs of Dover – that’s never had any bluebirds, by the way – taken from the end of the new pier that’s been put up as part of the Western Dock revival.

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Next a shot – again from the new pier – of the marina. You can get a decent hot chocolate there although they serve it up with a sugar-central square of some kind of rubbery chocolate cake I don’t like. Luckily for them the seagulls do like.

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The following one shows the, as yet, work in progress on the Western Dock. I’ve seen the pics of what it’s going to look like when it’s finished. It looks really good although I know this project has been mainly funded with a lot of EU money so I’m wondering what will happen if Brexit actually happens. I’m hoping it never happens. It’s already cost me money losing the opportunity to take on some sound design work in France.

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On the new pier a thing that got me is that there’s a sign that says – amongst other things – ‘NO JUMPING’.  Why would you ‘jump’ on a pier when you can walk, jog or run? Up on the steep White Cliffs, especially near the sheer drop edges, where there should be a sign saying ‘NO JUMPING’ there isn’t one. Odd. Also, I wonder if when the Cockney’s from the  East End of London pay a visit will they take the line, ‘No feeding of birds’ to mean that their wives’ have to starve during their stay here? Odder still.

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I thought some ambient music might fit the serenity of the harbour on a day like this. It’s the title track from my ‘Pigeons Are Switzerland’ album. I hope you enjoy;

Copyright © 2019 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.


mari13 (2)‘Weird but Harmless’

‘The more things change, the more they stay the same’ – A French expression

On a sunny Saturday the white bloke wearing khaki shorts, a Disney ‘Lion King’ t-shirt and a battered tin hat carrying a rifle shot a pregnant lioness. Chuffed with himself he had his wife take a photo of him standing over the furry corpse. Come Sunday morning he went to church to thank his god for his good fortune. He got on well with his god although even he had to admit it was generally a one-way conversation.

Come Monday he carried the furry corpse off to the taxidermist to have it stuffed. The taxidermist was up for the gig but pointed out that inside the body of the furry corpse there were three unborn lion cubs. Two females; one male. The taxidermist asked the bloke still wearing khaki shorts, a Disney ‘Lion King’ t-shirt and a battered tin hat but no longer carrying a rifle if he wanted the embryos stuffed as well. The bloke who shot the lioness said, “No thanks. I think that’s disgusting.” The taxidermist just shrugged and got on with his work.

On the Tuesday, the lioness and the ‘cubs that never were’ killer got a phone call on his landline from a midwife who worked in the hospital down town. She told him that his daughter was about to give birth to triplets. Two girls and a boy.

Rather than take the shower he needed he changed out of his Disney ‘Lion King’ t-shirt because it was chucking up a bit into his Disney ‘Beauty & The Beast’ (remake design) t-shirt but kept the rest on, even the battered tin hat. He left his rifle locked up safe in the cupboard and drove off to the hospital.

When he got there he was introduced to his new grandchildren, Eric, Derek and Moonbeam. He wasn’t sure about the name ‘Moonbeam’ but kept his mouth shut. After telling his daughter he was chuffed to be a grandad he showed her the pic of him with the dead lioness. The daughter told him he must be sick in the head.

By Wednesday he was down in the dumps about falling out with his daughter. She’d also told him to get out of her and her kids’ lives. Finding that hard to take he went back home thinking he’d have a private chat with his god. His god must have been busy that day.

His wife asked him if it were possible would he bring the lioness and her three unborn cubs back to life if it meant getting along with his daughter again. He said ‘Yes, I’d never shoot a lion again. If that was possible I’d shoot Elephants instead’.

His wife left him on the Thursday. By Friday, to help get back into the hunting zone, he’d shot the taxidermist dead, just prior to doing what he saw as the honourable thing.  He got himself a Disney original ‘Dumbo the Elephant’ t-shirt.

This post was prompted by a thing I saw on the news last week about some idiot Englishman who called himself a conservationist who thought it great to get over the South Africa and get photographed with lion he’d just murdered.

While on the subject of weirdness here’s probably the weirdest song I’ve ever written. It hasn’t had an outing for ages, so here it is. I hope you enjoy;

derek owl (2)‘I Like Birds’ – An Eels song title

I like birds as well. In Australia they discovered the 19 million year old fossil of a giant parrot that stood over one metre tall. That got me wondering how tall pirates must have been back in the day as they generally have a parrot on their shoulder. Anyway, here’s the song ‘I Like Birds’ from Eels;

Copyright © 2015 – 2019 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.


flowers4 (2)‘Scotland Abroad’


‘The game is now over, I’m glad that we played

A wounded heart full of sorrow, nothing betrayed

Guilt is love’s shadow yet I’ll never forget

From the corner of my eye your silhouette’

from my song ‘Pain’ aka ‘Love’s Shadow’

True story. I spent a lot of time watching England eventually win the cricket World Cup on Sunday. It was a small family occasion and we were all glued to the TV. The last time we had all been in the same room at the same time watching cricket was in 2005 when England took The Ashes back from Australia by managing to draw the last test at The Oval. My Grandmother watched that one with the rest of us. She was still alive back then. I was still a kid.

Grandmother was mad without realizing she was mad. She’d often do things and say things that others saw as funny or weird and she never understood why. It was watching that final test match she came out with a classic that went like this. “I’m terribly worried about the number of young people cursed with deafness. It’s an epidemic I think but there’s nothing on the news about it. I blame government’s secrecy – mark my word, they’re up to something.” I remember asking her for a bit of clarity. She came back at me saying, “Surely you must have noticed it George. Everywhere I go I see youngsters wearing hearing aids. Hundreds of them.” Getting her drift I pointed out that they weren’t hearing aids and what they actually were, were in-ear headphones for portable devises. ‘I’m sure you’re wrong about that George. I know a hearing aid when I see one.’ There wasn’t much point arguing. She never admitted she was ever wrong about anything. Mentioning it to my dad he reminded me she also insisted that a ‘DVD’ was actually called a ‘VDV’ and that her ‘George Formby Grill’ was actually a ‘George Foreman Grill’ – for the record George Formby was an English comedian and ukulele player from a long time ago.

I still miss her particular brand of madness. She left me feeling punch drunk most times so in her honour here’s my song ‘Punchdrunk’. I hope you like it;

flowers1 (2)‘Flowers for a Mad Grandmother’

If you’re interested you can find the rest of my music portfolio for sale at BANDCAMP 

Copyright © 2019 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.


france22 2019 (3)

I was about to enjoy my ham, cheese & salad baguette when she turned up in the form of a sweet little ginger cat who’d taken time out to cross a massive field in the middle of nowhere just to say ‘hello’ – well that’s what I thought until she spotted my ham, cheese & salad baguette.

What happened was that I fed her a piece of my ham which she ate like it was her first meal in a long, long time. So I gave her a bit more plus some cheese which she scoffed in just a couple of bites. Talking to me through sad eyes she made it clear that more food would be good – then some more, and a bit more still until I was left with a baguette of only salad. I didn’t mind that much, especially as for the next half hour she’d fallen asleep on my lap, purring away while I was hoping she didn’t have fleas.

france30 2019 (2)Cleopatra’s Field

Once she’d woken up she gave me a friendly look and left, crossing back over the massive field to wherever she’d come from. After that she turned up at 5pm on the dot every evening to share a bite to eat with me. By then she was playful and answering to the name ‘Cleopatra’.

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Come my last night in the middle of nowhere I played her my song ‘Goodnight Cleopatra’. I think she liked it as she was purring a lot. If the truth be told I’d like to have taken her back home with me. Here’s the piece I played for her. I hope you enjoy;

Here’s the link to my complete discography – all five albums – available from Bandcamp at just £16 (50% discount) or whatever currency you use.

Copyright © 2017 – 2019 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.


tree‘My Family Tree’

A few weeks back I got my father, and fellow blogger Mike Steeden a DNA testing kit for his birthday. I thought it would make for an unusual present. He takes a saliva sample and the kit gets sent off to the lab in America, Texas I think, and there they conduct an analysis of his DNA and end up telling him his origins. He’s always presumed he was probably ‘Norman with a hint of Anglo-Saxon’ – his words.  He tells me the results have just come in. How wrong he was. Rounding the numbers up, he’s 75% Northern European; only 15% English and 10% Scandinavian.

So, he’s now proudly claiming that he must be – his words – ‘Viking with a goodly chunk of my beloved Mother Russia’. He’s thrilled about it. He’s got a Cossack hat already so he’s looked the part for ages.

My mum asked him if the Viking bit was the reason he’s always trying to rip her clothes off, steal her money and set fire to the house. We had a laugh about that.

I’ve now ordered a kit for mum. When her results come back I’ll put the two analysis’s together and know who I am.

Changing the subject, I found a scrap of paper when I was tidying my attic studio the other day. Reading it I realized they were the random words I played around with before writing the final lyric version of my song ‘Silent Films’. Odd feeling, discovering them again. They’re pretty meaningless but they show that songs have ‘origin’ as well.

Silent someone

Do I know you?

I can’t see you that well

No sound from your voice

No silhouette under streetlight

You’re lost in old scenes

From movies that I’ve dreamed

Silent, so silent

Your memory is fading

Here’s the song itself, from my ‘Rainbows End’ album. If you’re interested in downloading any of my albums or the whole disicography they are ‘page right’. Just hit the pic to open the link. Anyway, I hope you enjoy;

Copyright © 2017 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.


baby tom

‘A Brand New Tomato Plant’ – A shame I had to be told it was a tomato plant

‘March of The Dead’ – a piece of Sound Art I made using samples and sound manipulation a while back. A bit of dark fun. I miss not having the time to make more of this kind of art. I hope you like it;


I met a man from Syria

A woman from Lebanon

They’d crossed 1,000 oceans

Running from the sun


Running from oppression

Running from religious hate

Fortune’s wasted on crooked traffickers

Running from a starving state


They turned up in this England

In the hope of charity

Asylum and a place to sleep

Never knowing that could never be


Sure, there are so many

Who care, who act, who try

But the ugly and the powerful

Sit back and watch them die

This song hasn’t had an airing on WP for ages. So, if you’re not familiar with it, or even if you are and just want another listen, here it is, ‘Sunlight & The Dust’ from my Dream Rescuer album. I hope you enjoy;

Below, my albums for download;

Copyright © 2017/19 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.