LETTER IN A BOTTLE

Cleopatra

‘Claudette Colbert still from Cecil B. DeMille’s ‘Cleopatra’ movie 85 years ago’


He was thinking to himself that he’d never written a letter. A proper letter, using a pen and paper. A letter he would write, sign and post. He decided he’d have a go although the absence of pre-emptive text was worrying him. His spelling wasn’t that great. After more thought he came up with the idea of writing a love letter. The only problem being that he didn’t know who to write to as he didn’t know anyone.  Because of that he went for a random ‘too whom it may concern’ type of letter.


After going down to the shops to get hold of a pen (he didn’t own a pen) and paper (the only paper he had at home was toilet paper) he wrote his love letter. The letter didn’t say much. Just his address and a couple of lines that read, “Dear Whoever You Are, I’m looking for a soul mate to love. If you’re interested please get in touch, Yours Sincerely, Джордж” – his dad was Russian.


The only problem was that he had a letterbox phobia so instead of posting the letter in the post-box up the road he went down the seafront. It was handy he lived by the sea. He took with him the letter, an empty bottle and a cork. He was pleased to have thought of this idea because had he posted the letter in an envelope it didn’t have a forwarding address written on it anyway. Making sure the tide was on the way out he put the letter in the bottle then stuffed the cork in, then chucked the bottle in the sea.


Cleopatra also lived by the sea. She was out walking her leopard along the shoreline when she spotted the letter in a bottle. The cork was stuck in the bottle. She tried to pull it out with her teeth. She failed, so she smashed it on the rocks, careful to pick up the pieces. Джордж’s letter made Cleo smile. She decided to reply. The stamps cost her a small fortune as she lived in Egypt and he lived England.


When Джордж received Cleo’s letter he was over the moon. He took a ship all the way to Egypt and met up with her at her grand palace. Джордж was most impressed. That night they had a meal together at a McDonald in Alexandria. They got on well and planned to meet up again the next day, even though Джордж was allergic to big cats. After Джордж had given Cleo a polite kiss and said, ‘Goodnight Cleopatra’ he went back to his hotel and wrote her this song.


Here’s Cleo’s song. I hope you enjoy;


The instrumental album this number is on is available to download via the link below;


Copyright © 2019 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

SEVEN DAYS & THREE DISNEY T-SHIRTS LATER

mari13 (2)‘Weird but Harmless’

‘The more things change, the more they stay the same’ – A French expression

On a sunny Saturday the white bloke wearing khaki shorts, a Disney ‘Lion King’ t-shirt and a battered tin hat carrying a rifle shot a pregnant lioness. Chuffed with himself he had his wife take a photo of him standing over the furry corpse. Come Sunday morning he went to church to thank his god for his good fortune. He got on well with his god although even he had to admit it was generally a one-way conversation.

Come Monday he carried the furry corpse off to the taxidermist to have it stuffed. The taxidermist was up for the gig but pointed out that inside the body of the furry corpse there were three unborn lion cubs. Two females; one male. The taxidermist asked the bloke still wearing khaki shorts, a Disney ‘Lion King’ t-shirt and a battered tin hat but no longer carrying a rifle if he wanted the embryos stuffed as well. The bloke who shot the lioness said, “No thanks. I think that’s disgusting.” The taxidermist just shrugged and got on with his work.

On the Tuesday, the lioness and the ‘cubs that never were’ killer got a phone call on his landline from a midwife who worked in the hospital down town. She told him that his daughter was about to give birth to triplets. Two girls and a boy.

Rather than take the shower he needed he changed out of his Disney ‘Lion King’ t-shirt because it was chucking up a bit into his Disney ‘Beauty & The Beast’ (remake design) t-shirt but kept the rest on, even the battered tin hat. He left his rifle locked up safe in the cupboard and drove off to the hospital.

When he got there he was introduced to his new grandchildren, Eric, Derek and Moonbeam. He wasn’t sure about the name ‘Moonbeam’ but kept his mouth shut. After telling his daughter he was chuffed to be a grandad he showed her the pic of him with the dead lioness. The daughter told him he must be sick in the head.

By Wednesday he was down in the dumps about falling out with his daughter. She’d also told him to get out of her and her kids’ lives. Finding that hard to take he went back home thinking he’d have a private chat with his god. His god must have been busy that day.

His wife asked him if it were possible would he bring the lioness and her three unborn cubs back to life if it meant getting along with his daughter again. He said ‘Yes, I’d never shoot a lion again. If that was possible I’d shoot Elephants instead’.

His wife left him on the Thursday. By Friday, to help get back into the hunting zone, he’d shot the taxidermist dead, just prior to doing what he saw as the honourable thing.  He got himself a Disney original ‘Dumbo the Elephant’ t-shirt.

This post was prompted by a thing I saw on the news last week about some idiot Englishman who called himself a conservationist who thought it great to get over the South Africa and get photographed with lion he’d just murdered.

While on the subject of weirdness here’s probably the weirdest song I’ve ever written. It hasn’t had an outing for ages, so here it is. I hope you enjoy;

derek owl (2)‘I Like Birds’ – An Eels song title

I like birds as well. In Australia they discovered the 19 million year old fossil of a giant parrot that stood over one metre tall. That got me wondering how tall pirates must have been back in the day as they generally have a parrot on their shoulder. Anyway, here’s the song ‘I Like Birds’ from Eels;

Copyright © 2015 – 2019 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

THE THREE WISE PEOPLE

shape of water

Still frame from ‘The Shape of Water’

‘The drowning shoe’ 

Listening to the old bloke in front of me in the inevitable post office queue having a bit of a rant I was thinking, ‘that’s not entirely accurate’. What he was saying to the even older bloke in front was, “I’ve heard it all now.” The other bloke says, “What?” The original bloke says, “Bloody feminists. They’ve even had ‘Gingerbread Men’ renamed ‘Gingerbread People’ in Scotland.  It’s the law there now.” I could have intervened and corrected him as what actually happened was that the Scottish Parliament staff have been banned from saying gingerbread ‘man’ at their Holyrood coffee shop because it’s not gender neutral and that they have renamed them ‘Gingerbread People’. I said nothing because I wasn’t that interested until it all went surreal.

The old bloke upping the rant level says, “They’ll stop at nothing.” The even older bloke says, “Who?” causing Mr Rant to add – again – “The bloody feminists,” then back on his rant, “Mark my words, they’ll ruin Christmas for me. Stuff the three wise men, it’ll be the three wise people following yonder bloody star. I know that as a fact. Next on their list will be Manchester United. ‘Man U’ will become ‘People U’ soon enough. A ‘manhole cover’ will be a ‘peoplehole cover’, even the bloody ‘paperboy’ will be called ‘paperpeople’” – pause for thought then he corrects himself – “More like ‘paperperson’ probably. Anyway, I’m sick of it.”

Wow, a ‘paper person’. People made out of paper! Just hearing that concept made my listening in to the conversation worthwhile. My random thought process kicked in. Living beings made out of paper by the magic of origami, then off they go delivering newspapers. Big concept. Rainy day concerns.

Whatever, Mr Rant hadn’t finished yet. “We’ll get them back. I’m going to rename Ladybirds as Peoplebirds and bloody Custard Tarts can be Custard People. That’ll learn them.” The other bloke says, “Who?” indicating to me that his attention span wasn’t all that. Mr Rant, after a massive sigh of despair says, “The bloody feminists, that’s who.”

When he got there, the cropped hair muscular lady who never takes prisoners who sits behind the counter lasered him with her eyes.

It’s a pity the bloke didn’t come to the boil talking about all the serious stuff 2018 has thrown at us. It’s a long list of tragedy as we all know.

~

New subject. I’ve been checking the stats for my music across all platforms for 2018. It’s been a good year and lately some good offers have come my way. Anyhow, I ended up with a list of the most popular numbers in terms of listens and downloads. This one, ‘Dream Rescuer’ from the album of the same name was number 4 in the list. Here’s a taster of the lyric, underneath that is the song itself. I hope you enjoy;

DREAM RESCUER

You rescued dreams

And nightmare schemes

Spinning around inside your head

You kept them in your diary

A book you said you never read

Come morning

Come daylight

You’re lost in time

A dream you dared to dream…..

No. 3 was ‘Rexie Believes in Magic’; No. 2 was ‘Tick Tock’ and No. 1 ‘The Sunlight & The Dust’.

By the way, if you get bored of the rubbish Christmas TV I avoid like the plague then have a watch of the movie ‘The Shape of Water’ if you can. Amazing. It’s got everything. Film noir flavour; great acting – especially Sally Hawkins who left me wanting to be the alien under water with her; a story that builds like a good song should; clever retro soundtrack; weird love/romance; a chunk of Sci-Fi. Can’t say anymore without ruining it.  It is a work of art.

Thanks for your support. Have a great Festive Season & New Year. Enjoy ~ Zoolon aka George

Copyright © 2017/ 2018 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

ZOOLON’S SCANDINAVIAN ‘NOIR’

HIDDEN BENEATH

HIDDEN
Flesh & bone under water
Soul flying away
Which will be reborn?
No one can say

Is she in the dark river
Or lost to the sea?
Only the ghost knows
The ghost that is she

Staying with the ‘dark’ theme, here’s a new piece of music I’ve composed, aimed at the Scandinavian ‘Noir’ Murder TV/film market. It’s titled ‘Hidden Elsewhere’ and will also be on my forthcoming album, out soon. I hope you enjoy;

https://soundcloud.com/zoolon/hidden-beneath

Below, the link to my ‘Dream Rescuer’ album;

Copyright © 2017 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

COMING TO THE NEW LANDS

new-york-1930s-6

I’ve never been to America, certainly never to 20th century New York, yet in this piece, another from my concept album Cosa Nostra, (made using samples of ‘found sound’- i.e. using sound samples I ‘found’ then captured and manipulated to create music/sound art) I needed to recreate the flavour of the city as it would have felt to a young Sicilian on his first day in town since arriving by ocean liner.

The sheer size of the place, the hustle and bustle, street noises, its newness, all these things would have been alien to him, as he walked the streets taking it all in. He would have never have seen or heard anything like it before.  These are the things I wanted to reflect with this piece. I watched a lot of old gangster movies to try and get the feel of New York in those days. The fact that the Sicilian is out for revenge and wants to murder his lover’s killer who had escaped to New York, was not particularly important to this piece. His first day there would have simply been one of checking out the place.

The album was themed around a storyboard I created. A bit like Romeo & Juliet except the families at war are both 20th century Mafia. The preceding track, ‘Sailing the North Atlantic’ was posted last week (https://zoolonaudio.wordpress.com/2017/01/18/sailing-the-north-atlantic/).

Here it is, ‘Coming to the New Lands’. There’s a lot going on with this one. I recommend the volume be turned up, or headphones on. Hope you enjoy.

https://soundcloud.com/george-blamey-steeden/scene-4-coming-to-the-new

If you fancy a visit the Zoolon Audio website it is at www.zoolonaudio.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ZoolonAudio?lang=en-gb

YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOtegaQCJKBCZWYJDHOTPg

SoundCloud:  https://soundcloud.com/zoolon

Copyright © 2016 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

SAILING THE NORTH ATLANTIC

atlantic-liner

Set in 20th century days of ocean liners crossing The Atlantic this piece of sound art, ‘Sailing the North Atlantic’, using samples of ‘found sound’ (i.e. using sound samples I ‘found’ then captured and manipulated to create music/sound art) is another from my Cosa Nostra concept album. The album was themed around a storyboard I created. A bit like Romeo & Juliet except the families at war are both 20th century Mafia.

My central character had to journey to New York to catch up with the killer of his lover back in Scilly and avenge her death.

Here though, it’s not about him. What I was trying create for this piece was the feel of the journey from start to finish, through the ‘eyes’ of the ocean liner rather than the character’s emotions or the ocean itself. I was looking to get the feel of movement across water of a giant ship, motion, engines at work, the flavour of sounds inside and on deck. This is why no basic melody kicks in for the first 77 seconds of the track. It had to get out of port and build up a head of steam.

‘Cosa Nostra’ was a big project and lyric free. Its sole purpose was to try to tell a story through the various emotions that sound can deliver. There’s a lot going on and personally I prefer to listen through headphones, or with the volume pumped up.

Hope you like it.

https://soundcloud.com/george-blamey-steeden/sailing-the-north-atlantic

If you fancy a visit the Zoolon Audio website it is at www.zoolonaudio.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ZoolonAudio?lang=en-gb

YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOtegaQCJKBCZWYJDHOTPg

SoundCloud:  https://soundcloud.com/zoolon

Copyright © 2016 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

NO MORE A VENDETTA

cosa-nostra-cover

This is a track from my concept album ‘Cosa Nostra’. Basically, this album was an exercise in Found Sound (i.e. using sound samples I ‘found’ then captured to create music/sound art). The album was themed around a storyboard I created. A bit like Romeo & Juliet except the families at war are both 20th century Mafia.

For this piece, I wanted to invoke the feel of revenge, as well as a night-time chase through city streets ending in the shooting of a hitman who had killed the lover of my central character. He had travelled from Scilly to New York to take that revenge.

‘Cosa Nostra’ was a big project and lyric free. Its sole purpose was to try to tell a story through the various emotions that sound can deliver. There’s a lot going on and personally I like to listen through headphones, or with the volume pumped up.

The pic is the album cover I designed for the project.

Hope you like this.

https://soundcloud.com/george-blamey-steeden/scene-7-no-more-a-vendetta?in=george-blamey-steeden/sets/cosa-nostra

If you fancy a visit the Zoolon Audio website it is at www.zoolonaudio.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ZoolonAudio?lang=en-gb

YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOtegaQCJKBCZWYJDHOTPg

SoundCloud:  https://soundcloud.com/zoolon

Copyright © 2016 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

ANTS IN AWKWARD PLACES

george-camera-2

An older song I’ve added to the SoundCloud page.  It’s a rehash demo version of a song I wrote when I was 15.  I keep it because it was one of my first ever compositions. One day I’ll rehash the rehash and do it properly.

I’ve always liked the line “More to life than the rituals of living” even though I’ve forgotten what I was thinking about when I wrote it.

Here’s the song, ‘Ants in Awkward Places’ and I won’t list the entire lyric, just the chorus below. I hope you enjoy it. Soon, when I get the time I’ll make and post a studio version to compare against this demo.

‘I got a monkey on my back,

I got a monster under my bed,

I got ants in awkward places,

I got confusion in my head’

https://soundcloud.com/zoolon/ants-in-awkard-places

Zoolon Audio website is at www.zoolonaudio.com/

Twitter: twitter.com/ZoolonAudio

Facebook: www.facebook.com/Zoolon-Audio-763403243800696/

YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOtegaQCJKBCZWYJDHOTPg

SoundCloud:  https://soundcloud.com/zoolon

Copyright © 2016 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

ZOOLON AND THE LIFE COACH

george-11

(above, a near death experience)

I had a motivational life coach type person message me on Twitter. He wrote that there is no such thing as a problem because all problems are just challenges. I am presuming he has never lost the pin numbers for his bank cards or forgotten his parachute when jumping out of a plane. I don’t think he understands that he’ll never sell that sort of enthusiasm to a happy fatalist.

I read his message just before going to sleep. I dreamt I met Batman. Strange dream. He said he was depressed and couldn’t face helping people out until he felt better. He asked me if I could take over for a few days. I said, ‘no problem’.  I didn’t see it as a challenge. Robin didn’t feature in my dream. That’s probably a good thing.

That’s me back to work. There will be more music and video posted soon. In the meantime, you can find me at

https://www.zoolonaudio.com/index.html

Also at,

SoundCloud:  https://soundcloud.com/zoolon

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ZoolonAudio

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=zoolon+audio

Copyright © 2016 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

 

 

SHOUT AT NEWSREELS

https://soundcloud.com/zoolon/shout-at-newsreels

An anti-war song. It’s a demo electronic song I wrote it a while back using an Ableton Push and a guitar.

For any musicians, sound artists and video game designers out there. If you want uniquely sourced, top quality, low cost royalty free samples plus free taster downloads then the Zoolon Audio website is at www.zoolonaudio.com/

You can also find us at;

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ZoolonAudio

Facebook: www.facebook.com/Zoolon-Audio-763403243800696/

YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCtOtegaQCJKBCZWYJDHOTPg

SoundCloud:  https://soundcloud.com/zoolon

Copyright © 2016 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.