THE SEAGULL & THE CROUTONS

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I’m an idiot for not taking a video of the gull. I’ll tell you why.


For the first day in ages it had stopped raining and was just warm enough for me to have my breakfast outside a café – Eggs Benedict for what it’s worth. Halfway through eating I spotted this gull stood at the door of an estate agent next to the café. At first I thought he (maybe a she, but being a little arrogant I’m thinking a he) was clocking himself in the reflection of the window. However he wasn’t judging his good looks as moments later he was trying to open the door with his beak. When that failed he started to tap at the door – beak taps, that is – trying to get a reaction. Eventually a lady opened the door and gave him a good couple of handfuls of croutons she’d made especially for him.


Apparently the gull visits every single morning at 9.30AM – on the dot – for breakfast and the only reason he had to hang around was that the lady who had fried up the croutons for him had to let them cool down before serving them up. Once he’d scoffed the lot he flew off to wherever gulls go when their not eating or shitting on my car.


While I don’t agree humans should be feeding gulls who really ought to be out at sea fishing for themselves I couldn’t help thinking the interaction between bird and human was OK this time. It’s all about the relationship between a decent human and wildlife to me.


The oddest thing was that when eating the croutons this gull didn’t scream out boasting to all his gull mates that he’d had a result at the estate agents. That’s what usually happens with gulls just before a massive bundle kicks off as they fight to steal each other’s food.


I like seagulls. They’ve got attitude. The rappers of the bird world.


Once, a couple of years ago I was leaving a car park when some heartless moron deliberately drove over a young gull. He flattened the gull then drove off – at speed after spotting me in kill mode. The juvenile gull took a minute or two to die. Sadly I wasn’t brave enough to put it out of its misery. I still feel guilty about that.


I got the reg number of his car, rushed over to the police station but they weren’t bothered. “It’s one for the RSPCA, son,” was all they said. I often think about this. I often think the same thing should happen to that driver. A steam-roller would do nicely.


Here’s ‘Time Out’ my song for the gulls alive and dead from my Dream Rescuer album. I hope you enjoy;


Here’s my album ‘Rainbows End’ on Spotify.  You can stream all my music there or free. Alternatively, for downloads of my work go to BANDCAMP  Here’s the link SPOTIFY


Copyright © 2017/2019 Zoolon Audio.  Music & Photograph. All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

MISS SALLY UMBRELLA

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‘Miss Sally Umbrella’
Artist Unknown – sourced from Pinterest 


The day they chopped down the last tree on earth was the day the humans stopped breathing. No oxygen, no humans.


A few of us got lucky. We’d already had our brains transferred to robots. Not just any old robots. Proper human looking robots with eyes that see, ears that hear, mouths that spoke and hands that created things. We didn’t need to eat nor drink. That was useful as there were no farms and no rain. The extra plus was that we robots didn’t need oxygen. That was handy on a planet without any.


My brain settled into its new home without any major problems. A couple of headaches and I’ll admit I missed being not able to watch The Arsenal or have poached eggs. The name the other robots gave me was ‘Zoolon the Musical Android’.  I could still play my electric guitars. Solar power sorted that out.


Being a robot meant I was immortal if I stayed safe and never got myself killed. It also meant that none of us need ever breed. No point in it. We could build new robots but the new ones had no human brains as we’d run out of those. These robots didn’t have feelings and had no creativity but were useful just focused on doing stuff. They mainly built space ships and did the clearing up of desert dust. Music was an alien thing to them.


Everything was going really well for a while. We’d set up camps on Earth, The Moon and on Mars.  Then came a time of conflict. The robots with human brains decided that there wasn’t any reason to keep the robots without human brains. Like they were lesser  beings. Racism had returned to Earth. My hateful lot started to dismantle the robots without human brains forgetting that they had been programmed to defend themselves. They were pretty good at killing their human brain enemies. After a massive battle all that was left was just me and a pile of robot parts of both types. I never took part in the war as I don’t do racism.


However, I’d forgotten about Sally Umbrella, a robot without a human brain. She’d been on Mars at the time of the battle. She was called Sally Umbrella because she always had an umbrella with her. No one knew why because it never rained on Earth any more.


When she got back to Earth I had to tell her what had happened. She wasn’t meant to have emotions but on hearing what I had to say a single tear dripped from her eye. When the tear drop landed, all of a sudden a tiny twig with a single green leaf popped up out of the ground. Seeing I was confused she told me that it was a new born tree. An oak. After that she cried some more and a whole mass of new born trees appeared. She said they’d been ‘hidden beneath’ forever waiting to grow. Two magical things had happened. Sally Umbrella had evolved a brain as good as any human brain plus she had caused the trees to return.


Not long after, some dark clouds turned up. I hadn’t seen any clouds for hundreds of years. Then the rain. Buckets of rain. That’s when Sally Umbrella opened her umbrella to keep us both dry. Maybe she knew something from before? Maybe that was why she carried an umbrella? I never asked.


However, she did ask me if I thought regular humans would evolve again like before. All I could say was, “I hope not.”


Since then 200 million+ years have passed. The forests are back. No sign of humans, although quite a lot of bees. I did see a pretty friendly orangutan in one of the trees yesterday. Sally Umbrella was shaking her head looking ever so worried. I like Sally Umbrella. I think I might write her a song.


Talking of ‘Hidden Beneath’ here’s the piece of music of the same name from my ‘The Forgotten Daughter of Zeus’ album. It’s available to download on  BANDCAMP or to stream on SPOTIFY    I hope you enjoy;


Also try this on for size if you fancy the idea. The ‘Bullish Grove’. Enjoy;


Apart from the Sally pic – Copyright © 2019 Zoolon Audio.  Music & Artwork. All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

 

THE DAY THE TREES DISAPPEARED

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Zoolon’s Simple Take on Trees


I wouldn’t like to be a tree in the Amazon right now. Having said that I probably wouldn’t particularly want to be a tree in the first place. I’d never get to see The Arsenal play again or get to eat macaroni cheese. Then there’s dogs with an urgent need to think about, plus if I become a tree I guess all my guitars would get sold on eBay.


More seriously, even though science has proven trees interact with one another and given that they reduce erosion, moderate the climate, remove carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and store a mass of carbon in their tissues, plus trees and forests provide a habitat for many species of animals, insects and plants who would otherwise die out, we chop the lot down for a ton of pathetic reasons. Mainly it’s all about humans making big money whatever the damage to the planet they leave behind. Short term thinking? Too right it is.


Relevant to my mini rant, here’s my protest song ‘Sunlight & The Dust’ along with a few more ‘new photos of old photos’ almost forgotten.



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The spaceman from a green blue planet stopped by to pay us a visit and say “hello”
Earthman offered him a ready meal wrapped in plastic and a home delivery pizza just for show


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Spaceman said, “Man you’ve some great trees here, it’s a shame you’ve not got that many anymore”
Earthman just shrugged and said “That’s how we like it, besides we don’t eat apples like before”


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“You’re kidding me, the trees keep you lot well and alive, their fruit is the best thing you can get
This rubbish you just served up isn’t for me mate – it’s less a meal; more a bloody threat”


As I mentioned before all my albums can be streamed on SPOTIFY  they are also available to download from BANDCAMP


Below, my albums;


Copyright © 2017-2019 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

JUST THE MIRROR PLAYING GAMES

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‘Come a Frozen Morning’


How do you write over-the-top surreal lyrics like Dylan? I’m thinking Desolation Row style here. Answer: basically you don’t. He’s one of a kind. Even so, that doesn’t mean we can’t try.


I NEVER UNDERSTOOD
You had a dream in the beginning
You had a dream that sounded good
Why you woke up and lived the nightmare
I never understood


You climbed the mountain after midnight
Under the light of a full moon
I heard that come a frozen morning
You stole the big shot’s hot air balloon
You ended up among the gravestones
Where dead bodies know their place
You dressed yourself in magazines
Put on your bravest face


The letter you said you sent me
Never made it to base camp
A mailman in the snowstorm died
His body cold and damp
And inside looking out
You see a heaven upon earth
But that’s just the mirror playing tricks on you
That’s a fact for what it’s worth


In summer we light the candles
The sun don’t shine no more
In summer the sea gets restless
And besides this world’s at war
With every living species
Well maybe just the one’s that make most noise
That’s only heard by deaf ears
And the Pan’s poisoned lost boys


You had a dream in the beginning
You had a dream that sounded good
Why you woke up and lived the nightmare
I never understood


As I mentioned in my last post, at last I’ve got all my Zoolon Audio albums out there for streaming on Spotify and iTunes – no cost to the listener.


Here is the EP ‘Devil’s Kiss’ in its entirety on Spotify. For the iTunes equivalent then just type in ‘Zoolon Audio’ and stream. I hope you enjoy;


All my albums are still available for download purchase on BANDCAMP


If you do enjoy my music, a ‘follow’ on Spotify would be appreciated.


Copyright © 2019 Zoolon Audio.  Music & Photograph. All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

THE SEAGULL HAS LANDED

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‘Forgotten & Rediscovered’
by Zoolon


At last I’ve got all my Zoolon Audio albums out there for streaming on Spotify and iTunes – no cost to the listener.


Here is my instrumental album ‘The Forgotten Daughter of Zeus’ in its entirety on Spotify. It’s mixed genre and I like to think, relaxing. ‘Listen while you work’ type music. If you are looking for the iTunes equivalent then just type in ‘Zoolon Audio’ and stream.



All my albums are still available for download purchase on BANDCAMP


If you do enjoy the music, a ‘follow’ on Spotify would be most appreciated.


G4 (B&W)


Copyright © 2019 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.