Art work by Funniest Animal Videos

I was reading an article that said when in the mood a cat can count up to 7. My immediate thought was that that made a mockery of the 9 lives theory, given that cats must be in no man’s land after 7 disastrous accidents. I wondered how the writer got to know that cats can count up to 7, so I wrote this.

The old lady with the broomstick she took everywhere never really wanted to live on Planet Earth but she didn’t have much choice but to stay put. She wasn’t a witch or anything like that. She just liked her broomstick and didn’t care for Planet Earth that much. She always said she found having a broomstick therapeutic. Her Earth problems were all about allergies. Hay fever, dust allergies and atopic dermatitis were her adversaries. She didn’t quite know what atopic dermatitis was. It was what her doctor called it and he knew more words than she did. What she did know was that it made her itch most times, although for reasons unknown she never itched when carrying her broomstick. Mostly she slept with the broomstick. When she went down town to do a bit of shopping on rainy days she had to leave it at home because she couldn’t hold an umbrella and the stick at the same time without falling over.   

Luckily she never had animal type allergies. That’s why she kept two cats and always kept the bird feeding station down the bottom of the garden full of seed.

As she’d grown older then older some more she found life was getting boring. Her husband had died years before and she lived alone, apart for the cats. Morpheus and Zeus were the names she gave them. Because she couldn’t always remember Morpheus’ name she mainly called him Dreamer. He slept a lot.

It was because of her cats that her world got better then better still. It was on a hot summer’s day that she decided she would feed her cats outside. Her back garden was massive but because of her allergies she’d had it concreted over. To make the garden look better she’d planted masses of plastic flowers in tubs all over the place. It confused the bees but no harm was done.

Somehow, given that she was carrying her broomstick with her, she took with her a bowl each of gourmet cat food chicken cubes in sauce for both Dreamer and Zeus. The thing was that one bowl had five cubes, the other had seven. Zeus got the short end of the stick. He didn’t look that happy. She noticed that Zeus had nodded his head five times before popping over to Dreamer, where he nodded seven times. When he’d finished nodding he looked up at the old lady and shook his head in disappointment.  It was a that point she’d discovered that cats can count.

Ever since that day she never got bored again. Once she’d taught her cats to play counting games she never looked back. The cats were pretty happy themselves. They had known for some time that dogs can’t count, even though wolves could.

Every day, sometimes all day, you’d find her playing Snakes and Ladders and Ludo with the cats.  

Some music. My song ‘Tick-Tock’ from my ‘The Pigeons Are Switzerland’ album. You can download this BANDCAMP I hope you enjoy.

If you’re interested in my inexpensive PROMO VIDEOS FOR AUTHORS  hit the link here or aim at the one at the top of this blog.

As ever, if any poets out there are interested in having their poems turned into songs then click here to check it out: POETRY TO SONG

If you are looking for all my other music then you’ll find it to download on BANDCAMP or you can stream and/or make a playlist of it on SPOTIFY

If you’re thinking about new t-shirts and similar for yourself, here’s my collection you might be interested in ZOOLON’S MERCHANDISE

Copyright © 2018 Music; 2020 Words; Zoolon Audio. All rights reserved. Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

Published by

George Blamey-Steeden

Guitarist / Songwriter from the UK. I have a First-Class BA (Hons) in Creative Music Technology. You check out my music via Bandcamp.

38 thoughts on “DREAMER, ZEUS & THE OLD LADY”

      1. You are welcome, George.
        It definitely is strange . I actually did not know that but thanks to you , I am wiser .

        Oh ! I wish that too. I guess, then, I would only be speaking to animals , I am sure animals are better off not speaking to the likes of humans.
        If animals spoke, they would be making music with you too.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. My late grandmother, believe it or not had a load of plastic flowers in her garden that the sun bleached the lot of them and they looked rubbish. Asking her why she had them she told me she hated gardening. Thinking back about that garden I think she must have liked the weeds the plastic flowers in their plastic pots lived on. An odd woman ~ George

      Liked by 3 people

  1. If you look at medieval paintings, you notice that medieval cats did a lot of things. Some were hard working professionals, some played musical instruments, some were religious. Today’s cat does nothing except being cute. At least some can count 😉

    Liked by 2 people

      1. No one in this house has seen 7a in years. He knows treats come at noon & 6p. He also knows that dinner is at 8p. Kibbles come at 2a. If we aren’t fast enough, he will lay pitifully on the kitchen floor and stare at his bowl…and pretend he is dying and can’t move. He’s quite the actor.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Hilarious. Loved it! When I read the Morpheous part, I was reminded of the Morpheous building (City of Dreams) in Macau – the last travel I had before Covid hit and turned our lives upside down. Got me nostalgic. For a bit.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Marisse. Don’t talk about travelling. I am gagging to get over to Europe again. Maybe creativity will return if I can do that one thing. Thanks again ~ George


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