AN EPIDEMIC, HEARING AIDS & A MAD OLD LADY

‘Scotland Abroad’

~

‘The game is now over, I’m glad that we played

A wounded heart full of sorrow, nothing betrayed

Guilt is love’s shadow yet I’ll never forget

From the corner of my eye your silhouette’

from my song ‘Pain’ aka ‘Love’s Shadow’

True story. I spent a lot of time watching England eventually win the cricket World Cup on Sunday. It was a small family occasion and we were all glued to the TV. The last time we had all been in the same room at the same time watching cricket was in 2005 when England took The Ashes back from Australia by managing to draw the last test at The Oval. My Grandmother watched that one with the rest of us. She was still alive back then. I was still a kid.

Grandmother was mad without realizing she was mad. She’d often do things and say things that others saw as funny or weird and she never understood why. It was watching that final test match she came out with a classic that went like this. “I’m terribly worried about the number of young people cursed with deafness. It’s an epidemic I think but there’s nothing on the news about it. I blame government’s secrecy – mark my word, they’re up to something.” I remember asking her for a bit of clarity. She came back at me saying, “Surely you must have noticed it George. Everywhere I go I see youngsters wearing hearing aids. Hundreds of them.” Getting her drift I pointed out that they weren’t hearing aids and what they actually were, were in-ear headphones for portable devises. ‘I’m sure you’re wrong about that George. I know a hearing aid when I see one.’ There wasn’t much point arguing. She never admitted she was ever wrong about anything. Mentioning it to my dad he reminded me she also insisted that a ‘DVD’ was actually called a ‘VDV’ and that her ‘George Formby Grill’ was actually a ‘George Foreman Grill’ – for the record George Formby was an English comedian and ukulele player from a long time ago.

I still miss her particular brand of madness. She left me feeling punch drunk most times so in her honour here’s my song ‘Punchdrunk’. I hope you like it;

‘Flowers for a Mad Grandmother’

If you’re interested you can find the rest of my music portfolio for sale at BANDCAMP 

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