baffling of facebook

‘How to Confuse Facebook’ by Zoolon

Recently I’ve mentioned a mate of mine who has a habit of messing up. I think he may have surpassed himself on the stupid front this week.

He says, “It’s took me five hours to fit a roller blind.” I say, “Five hours? Never.” He says, “I spent two hours looking for the scissors to cut it to size. Then I spent ages wondering what the little brown things that were in a packet that came with the blind along with some screws were.” I say, “Rawlplugs.” He says, “Do what?” has a think, then says, “Is that what they’re called? Anyway, I couldn’t work out what to do with them, so I ditched them and just screwed the screws into the wall.” I say, “Brick walls?” He says, “Yes.” I say, “That’s amazing. Screwing screws into bricks without a power tool.” He says, “Not really, there’s been damp up there, they screwed in easy enough.” I say, “You must be pleased with yourself?” He says, “I wish I was, but no, when I woke up this morning it had fallen down.” I say, “You’re putting the curtains back up?” He says, “I can’t, I chucked them in the rubbish.”

At the moment I’m stuffed until my Mac gets fixed. I didn’t realize that all leads lead to a Mac and business wise I’m dead in the water without it.  Bored senseless and still waiting for the engineer to turn up I wrote some words. Not an easy thing when you’re in an evil mood.  In case you wonder, it’s about a Mac in a coma. It sings. Hopefully it reads OK. 



I’ve been dining with the Turks, they’re very special people

I think they may have the answers but mostly they never say

I’ve swum with schools of dolphins, they get exasperated

They want to climb to mountain tops but cannot find a way

When I was learning how to wipe my nose I argued with Greek thinkers

They claimed that they knew everything but just wouldn’t tell that day


I found myself in a theatre, sat watching Boredom from the stalls

One, she’s always on cloud nine, the other, he punches walls

One, she stands up proud and tall, the other, he mostly falls

I applauded, most just turned their backs, some whistled loud cat calls

Time for a song. This one is called ‘Delusional Troll’ from my Dream Rescuer album. Hope you enjoy;

Now for a song with a current theme, ‘Crucify’ by the exceptional Tori Amos.

Apart from Tori Amos – Copyright © 2017 Zoolon Audio.  All rights reserved.  Unauthorized copying, reproduction, hiring, lending, public performance and broadcasting prohibited.

15 thoughts on “DINING WITH THE TURKS”

  1. JGC, I hope your Mac wakes for its coma sooner rather than later. House calls are the way to go, fingers crossed there will be a resurrection. Love your photo, ‘How to Confuse Facebook’, how did you manage the water effect? My random thought, ‘How to Confuse Facebook while Granny Smith walks on water’. I was pulled into your lyric with the first line, “I’ve been dining with the Turks, they’re very special people” first thought, Istanbul. The visuals continue from there, dolphins, mountains, philosophers, and I adore the personification of ‘Boredom’. ‘Delusional Troll’, and Tori Amos, always a win, clever to use of ‘Crucify’, both songs perfect for your post, a terrific presentation! ~ PM


    1. Thanks PM. As resurrections go it has to work. Sometimes I wish I was a cup half full person. Is the photo massive on your Reader? It is on mine even though I thought I’d sized it properly and on the preview it looked perfect. It’s not taking an edit. The water effect wasn’t planned. It’s just a thick plastic – not good – protector over a table cloth. The French use them all the time. Hail Granny Smith. Words that fall out of the invisible place where words live sometimes are the best but only when they sort themselves out. A bit like pets if you’re nice to them. I glad you liked them. I wasn’t sure and took the risk of posting blind. If only I could play piano like Tori. She is special. JGC


      1. You’re always welcome, JGC. I definitely know what you’re saying about the cup. The photo is massive, but wait, it’s perfect because it’s extra large on the vertical, making it arty. ‘How to Confuse Facebook’, is almost like two images that hold hands, and the center is the subset, so actually three images. I could actually go on and on about the composition, I’ll spare you that. It’s really good, and who knew about the advantages of plastic? Your mate is worrying me a bit, especially as all the pieces of him come to light, and now he has no window covering, shame. Did Granny Smith steal the show in that photo? Maybe! Glad you posted blind, and it went swimmingly! Well, if you were Tori you’d be, JTC or JTA or… ~ PM


      2. Thanks, Mia. If I was Tori I’d be confused. JGC transformed. She doesn’t look like she’d support The Arsenal. I could cope – I think – with the rest, but not that.


  2. Is this your guy you have mentioned before? had a good giggle. Not least cos me and roller blinds don’t get along. The one we had at one point in the living room was not helped by the fact I stood on the tube. Great post and a super choice of all the music xxxx


    1. The same bloke. I just wish he’d admitted before I wrote this post that the truth of it was he’d hammered the screws in. Now he wonders how it fell apart. He’s gold dust for any one who wants to write comedy.


  3. Oh heavens, I was going to write something similar–technology in my house has SUCKED as of late. Three computers, but only one works relatively well, and that’s of course the desktop I can’t take anywhere, let alone reach, because the basement’s in shambles and we can’t trust the kids down there to not break something. One laptop’s power cord has broken AGAIN, and the fourth replacement didn’t work, so we’re waiting on yet another one, and the other laptop (my dad’s, so yeah, it’s morbid to use no matter what) is ten years old, works, but weighs as much as a Guttenberg Bible and is addled extra software my dad needed by I don’t.
    Dumb technology.


    1. I still waiting for the call that says my Mac is alive and well. The worry is getting me down. Everything, especially my new tracks and business projects live there. Mac’s and music are brothers. Dead in the water is about right. I hope you get yours sorted. You must have words imprisoned in it that you need to set free. Best of luck with that.


      1. Thanks. The most frustrating element is the confusion. One device has something, another device has another something, but only the third device is protected so God help me if I lose the somethings on the unprotected devices. ARGH.


  4. Cool lyrics! They seem slightly Bob Dylan-ish, and I mean that in a good way as I’m not sure how people feel about Bob these days. 🙂


    1. Thank you. Dylan is a genius. I got into his work not that long ago. Buckets of Rain was the first song of his songs I remember staying in my mind and that’s how I always wanted to write. I’m still a long way from that.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s