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I first met Brian the Sparrow about a month ago. Spring was beginning to happen. The day was just about warm, so I was sat outside having a breakfast of hot chocolate and a croissant. When I’d finished   eating I left a few croissant crumbs on my plate. It was at that point a bold Brain landed and ate my leftovers. He didn’t seem bothered that I was sat only a couple of feet away.

I’ve met him a few times since. He has much darker neck feathers than his mates, so he is easy to recognise. Also, he seems to be the alpha sparrow; the Don of the local sparrow mafia. Brian himself has his own prime location, living in the posh bit of the hedgerow on the harbour side.  For what it’s worth Brian has a harem of lady sparrows following him about wherever he goes, all tweeting ‘we love Brian’ sort of tweets. Thinking about it, Brian’s living the dream.

The photo above is of Brian’s butt. I’ll explain. Before he landed on my table the other day, he was sat on the wall and his girlfriends were all sat in the bush besides the wall next to him. Brian had a look at the girl’s, then a look at me, but fell foul of making an assumption. What happened was that he saw me and guessed I was having my usual croissant. He guessed wrong.  The second he landed he realized there was nothing for him to eat. So, he turned his back just as I was taking a photo of him and then flew back to his girls. The net result was that all I got in the pic was a view of Brian’s butt just before he flew away.

We met again this morning. Brian doesn’t seem to hold any grudge against me.


Since being a little kid, we, that is my parents and me have used the Eurotunnel service that takes you into Calais in France. From there you can drive off to any place you like in Europe. The thing is there’s a sign at that check-in saying that if there’s a ferret in the car it must be declared. Why? Or better put, why single out the ferret from the entire global animal population? A few weeks back, having spent years asking Eurotunnel staff what this ferret thing was all about, I found out. An older lady on the check-in that day said ‘ferrets must have special passports’. That caused me to have a few random thoughts.

  1. How does a ferret fill in the form to apply for a passport?
  2. Does the average ferret’s passport photo look to be the worst photo ever – as it is with human passport photos?
  3. Where does a ferret get the £72.50 it costs to get a regular passport, let alone a special one?
  4. When I asked the lady if weasels and stoats, both animals much like a ferret, needed passports and she answered as far as she knew, ‘No, they didn’t’. Discrimination against ferrets? I think so.

Odd and confusing. I pity ferrets wanting to holiday abroad suffering discrimination. Although as far as Brian the Sparrow is concerned, he could just fly across The Channel and land wherever he wanted to in France, never having to worry about a passport. I wonder if the mademoiselle sparrows would take to him? Probably a ‘yes’ to that one.


Lastly, terminal boredom. I like football but right now my main team The Arsenal keep losing as do my other favourite team Gillingham. A mate and I went to watch Gillingham play on Saturday. The photos below are highlights from probably the worst game of football I’ve ever seen – we lost 1-0, the goal coming just 1 minute from full time. You’ll note that the only interesting part of the game was at half-time when they watered the pitch.

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The final photo, also taken at half-time when most of the other spectators were off buying a half-time pie, is of me terminally bored out of my brains.

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It doesn’t take much for me to get bored.

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Published by

George Blamey-Steeden

Guitarist / Songwriter from the UK. I have a First-Class BA (Hons) in Creative Music Technology. You check out my music via Bandcamp.


  1. I love the picture of Brian – I should point out that I have that exact patio set. There is also a robin I have named Brian who visits regularly. Strange coincidences! The ferrets thing is very interesting. And I like your shoes in that last picture, very nice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Size 12 shoes since I was 16. The plus – the only plus, mind – is that I’ve never fallen face first. As a kid we had 47 goldfish in a pond. I named them all Brian, apart from one, who wasn’t gold as he was black. He was called Black Brian. He was the finest fish I ever knew.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can see how your feet have been of great benefit in that respect.
        All hail, Black Brian – the finest fish that ever swam. Brian the robin is a very fat fellow and I know a chap called Brian who is also very fat, so any fat things I tend to name Brian. It’s a great name, too.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It is my dream to ride the tunnel to Calais…I don’t see why the ferret must be the butt of discrimination when clearly it is the sparrow. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The Tunnel is OK, but basically all you do is sit in your car until you drive off the train at the other end. I did once know a girl who thought the tunnel would be made of glass and you could look out and see the fish etc. Basically she got the concept totally wrong.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The do have a plexiglas walkthrough underwater in the Bahamas. Actually I am a bit claustrophobic so I doubt I would enjoy the tunnels. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Bold Brian doesn’t look like he has passed up many crumbs, and harem of lady sparrows, he’s got it good. The ferret v. weasel thing is a bit odd, special passport for a ferret, who would have guessed. It looks like it was a gorgeous day, with the sun out, too bad the game wasn’t exciting. The photo captures your boredom for sure. Looking forward to a head shot of Brian. Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday, George ~ Feather & Lightfoot

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think I need to start a petition against ferret discrimination. Also, I checked the tunnel website and caged birds don’t need a passport and travel free – the ferret has to pay £18 each way, as well as having a special passport. This mean a pirate with a parrot on his shoulder would probably not be allowed on the train. The world is an unfair place, Feather & Lightfoot.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. It is indeed an unfair world. Start the petition. Fortunately pirates have stolen ships to travel around in, because they wouldn’t be able to ride the train, if they were accompanied by a shoulder parrot.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m guessing here that you don’t live in South East England. I’ve never seen any of those animals in the wild. It looks like it’s just Brian the Sparrow and me. I’m off to see Brian any minute now as it happens.


    1. I’ve stayed in regular touch with Brian. We get along fine. I had a post to put up last week about Ruby the Sparrow. A neat and tidy young sparrow I assumed was Brian’s lovely daughter on account of her being so brave when it came to nicking my breakfast. On the day I was going to post the story of Ruby, I was eating outside per usual and noticed a ‘happening’ that proved to me beyond any doubt that Ruby was not his daughter. It was a pity really. My post can’t be posted now.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Eek, I have a feeling I know what was happening between Ruby and Brian.. it’s becoming quite the scene out there! The next thing you know, both of their bottoms will be facing you 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The sad thing is that the Ruby the Sparrow, daughter of Brian was quite a good post in an amusing way. Now they gone and let me down. The plus being that this year I’ve discovered more about the world of sparrows than I ever knew before. Reading about them it seems that both male and particularly females are the most promiscuous of all native British bird life – they have to be to keep their kind alive. Fascinating. Brian himself, I can report looks a bit scruffy and worn out at the moment. I think it’s 1-0 to the girls!

        Liked by 1 person

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